I wrote the following post some weeks ago. Everything changes, all of the time 😉
Today I feel hopeless, low, sad, fed up, cross, irritated, bored. And yet I just responded to an email enquiry and assumed a bright and breezy persona. The challenge is acknowledging that both exist and that both exist at the same time. It is completely within my power to morph into a bright and breezy person but it’s also a fact that there is an underlying heaviness going on. I have a mad mixture of energy rushing round my body and I think the only kind thing to do is to not add to the heaviness by making it a thing. ‘Oh look, I’m not being authentic’ – for example.
Of course I’m being authentic, but the reality is that I also have a business to run. When I’m face to face with guests in Greece I will very happily tell people how I am when they ask me because that’s the point over there. But equally there is another entirely valid world that requires me to play dress-up and so I do.
I am not being deceitful or devious, I am simply choosing the most appropriate response to a moment as and when it arises.
I can very easily make a stick out of ‘ought to’ and ‘should have’ and I realise that they are unnecessary, unkind and unhelpful.
I embrace my many-sided personality – it is merely decoration, it is nothing to do with who I truly am. Who I truly am feels every aspect of every turn of personality and neither judges or commentates – it is the ultimate in allowing, forgiving and loving. And when I relax into that, I can be in flow, regardless of whether my ‘personality’ is describing the current situation I find myself in as good or bad.
It is neither. It just is 🙂